Most of the Specialships diaries are written on pig tail parchment in the peculiar ink of dimple dye and ground stone that is so characteristic of dwarven writings. The tome you hold now is much different; written on thin sheets of green leather in whorled blue and red blood, the book menaces with spikes of goblin bone and raw adamantine.
Log of Urist McGreg, in Armok's name: 1st Hematite 131:
Urist McAlicia
is finally gone. Well, not gone, but no longer in power, at least. That elf-loving bitch has been giving tithe to the tree fuckers and blaming it on me. I was there, it's true, but the Count had made it clear she was in charge, and violating his rule is punishable by hammering. McAlicia still has the protection of the Count, so Unfortunate Accidents are out of the question at the moment, but I'm sending her to work a magma forge in the depths of the fort; let's see her pussy elf friends find her there.
The fortress is in disarray, and I know why. Too many have forsaken the will of Armok, as I had before the "candy" incident. The therapist has helped me see the error of my ways now, and with his help I'll forge this fortress anew in Armok's name.
Without the power to change anything I had buried myself in my work; I now have to reacquaint with the fort outside my workshop. A cursory tour reveals many issues: animals run rampant through the fort, though there remains no sign of the cave crocodiles that were to be our sustenance and protection; a well was constructed in a murky pool in our courtyard providing tainted water for drinking and washing; our indoor tree growing capability is sorely lacking; we have ghosts floating around pummeling and scaring people because their remains have been left to rot; furniture sits unused in stockpiles while bedrooms lack cabinets and sometimes even doors; we entirely lack empty pots or barrels, and as such all alcohol production has ended and the fort runs dry; plants that require processing have been left unused; the mason shops have been producing only blocks and not the coffins and doors and other furniture the fort needs; the Count's latest prisoner is thirsty and it doesn't seem anyone is bringing him drink; we lack soap, rope, and any leather armor. Perhaps worst of all our craftsdwarves are making crafts out of WOOD. This atrocity must stop. From this day forth any craftsdwarf who works with anything but stone or bone will be dropped into the magma sea. The other issues will also be remedied immediately.
The therapist and I have gone through the personnel files and have reassigned many to new positions; my predecessor seems to have done the same, but I suspect she placed elven sympathizers in key roles and I hope by changing orders I can thwart their treason. I also noticed a list posted in the dining room, seemingly ignored, mandating the construction of certain items for the nobles; Armok demands we respect the chain of command... or take action to reforge it to our liking.
I toured the magma workshops and was appalled at the state of things. Open magma pits lined one wall and I was told connected directly to a magma tube. I've seen too many good dwarves killed by magma men to allow this to stand. I ordered these shops disassembled and a wall built immediately to stop this happening. It seems the space I set aside for magma shops was ignored after my rule, so I have ordered it completed to give us access to magma safely.
Our military was overworked and underequipped. I have normalized their schedule and reorganized them; we now have one squad of five marksdwarves led by the Captain of the Guard and two squads of five axedwarves led by the militia commander and a captain. They'll alternate training for two months and having a month off when soldiers will engrave the fort with their exploits and marksdwarves will hunt. I've also given them new steel uniforms, which they'll equip once I get the armor made.
When I finished my rounds and was again in the courtyard I saw that an elven caravan was parked in our depot. My first thought was to summon the military, but that's too obvious. I'll play my hand close. We traded our fine stone crafts for some sand, booze, and animals. The sand will come in handy to make glass windows: I hope to set up raised observation platforms around our perimeter to warn of any incoming ambushes.
I've made a one year plan for turning this fortress around. My goals are threefold for that time period:
1) Construct a great arena to please Armok and destroy any goblin prisoners we catch.
2) Fortify our position to allow better defense against goblins any any others that might trouble us.
3) Set up an early detection system by constructing raised platforms enclosed by glass windows and manning them with some of the animals taking up space in the fort; they make a hell of a racket when they see anything threatening and that should suffice to alert us.
5th Hematite, 131:
I have been informed that still no fish have returned to the brook. It is frustrating that we spent so much time building a fishing hut only to have this happen. At least it will serve as the site for a new well providing clean water for cleaning.
I've noticed a large number of dogs in the fort; it's just like the great zoo explosion in the mountainhome. I ordered a peon to train them into war dogs. War dogs please Armok greatly.
I also noticed that no one had touched the... "candy" since my rule. I sent a poor fool to construct a craftsdwarves' shop and extrude the raw metal into usable strands.
24th Malachite, 131:
A prodigious effort by the masons has produced the coffins necessary to lay all the ghosts haunting the fort to rest. This should hopefully reduce the number of ectoplasm-related injuries the Chief Medical Dwarf needs to treat.
Speaking of the hospital, it seems someone has set up a second one in the fishing shack. I've consolidated the two at the site of the original, as that is where all the patients were.
A child was taken by a fey mood today. Armok, they grow up so quickly.
In other news my researchers have made headway on a new application of dwarven quantum physics: the undump. I'm not an expert, but they tell me that it relies on the fact that when dwarves drop or dump an item, rather than placing it, it exists and doesn't exist at the same time, and thus takes up no space. They tried to explain the concept to me using a convoluted metaphor about a dwarf who keeps a cat in his beard that is both dead and alive at the same time, but in my experience that would just be a zombie cat, and those are dangerous. We'll test these undumps as additions to our stockpiles, but I am dubious.
Summer, 131:
Negotiations with the human caravan are ongoing. I think they're undervaluing our stone crafts, but they insist demand has decreased over the past year. I love a good haggle, and I'm sure by the time I'm done with them we'll be hauling the dragon's share of their goods into our piles while they trudge off with a wagon full of worthless trinkets.
7th Limestone, 131:
The magma workshops are finally completed. In order to channel away the last stone and fill the tubes with magma our miners breached the lowest cavern level, where we've heard the rumblings of many a beast forgotten by civilization. Luckily the drawbridge we had prepared to seal the cavern again when the miners were finished snapped up just in time to stop a beast composed entirely of filth and excrement from entering our halls. Wise dwarves would avoid pulling the lever in the magma forge room.
We've also begun fortifying the entrance to the fort. I've added a double gate system to allow our military to leave the fort during a siege. There are now two levers in the dining room, the north lever controls the north bridge and the south lever controls the south bridge. The courtyard has been entirely roofed over and we've begun constructing a wall with fortifications over the entrance to the fort. The levels above the courtyard will also serve as an excellent place for the great arena to Armok, and the peons are laboring to do Him justice.
19th Limestone, 131:
The peons completed construction of several undump prototypes throughout the fort. Unfortunately they do not perform as hoped. The problem is that the dwarves are currently dropping their items on a pressure plate, and when another dwarf walks past he tries to move an item off and they all pop back into existence. We will modify the design to include a clearly marked stockpile where the dwarves will drop their items, so no one feels they need to remove them unless they're actually using them.
25th Limestone, 131:
Disaster. I placed too much faith in the undumps and told the dwarves to move all our supplies into one of the prototypes. The process was slow, though, and in the meantime much of the food we had stockpiled began to rot. I immediately ordered food stockpile protocols reenacted to protect the remaining food. In the future the undump will need to be used in conjunction with traditional stockpiling.
23rd Sandstone, 131:
Migrants have arrived. None had any useful talents, so they join the ranks of uncelebrated peons laboring to build our arena.
1st Timber, 131:
I can feel it, the inspiration of Armok. I've spoken to others who've gotten there mood, of course, but actually experiencing it, the raw flow of Armok's creation in my blood, is amazing. I feel a force pulling me down, deeper into the earth. There I will create my greatest work.
3rd Timber, 131:
Down I went, down and down until I found myself in familiar halls. The vein stares at me as I approach. I haven't been here since the incident. Armok isn't the one calling me, filling me with this creative energy, it is the thing within the adamantine. I hear the whispers again, how can I resist their pull? They command me to create, to bring their will into being.
1st Moonstone, 132:
A full month, that is how long I toiled under their command, but I resisted. They commanded me to create, but I directed it, channeled that need into creating something benign. Behold! Chainhailed, a diorite ring: the least threatening artifact ever made by dwarf. Armok be praised, it even has an image of clouds on it. The whispers have been thwarted, let us see them try to use this ring against us.
Much happened while I worked. Armok, and my standing orders, saw the fort through the trouble. On the 11th of Timber a vile force of darkness assaulted the fort. Goblins riding giant toads, giant rats, rutherers, and elk birds backed up by massive trolls poured over the hills toward our fort. Simultaneously a tribe of badger men stalked out of the swamp, likely looking for their brethren we hold captured. Fortunately all the dwarves working outside managed to retreat to the fortress and close the gate. The trolls toppled our statues and killed our guard dogs, though. A rain of bolts from our crossbowdwarves scared the goblins away by the 19th, and the badger men soon after. We only managed to take out a single troll, but the gates were reopened and normal operations resumed.
Construction of the arena continued through the siege and happily the arena was completed today. We will celebrate Armok and the new year with a grand tournament.
Later:
The tournament has begun! The Lancers of Right, led by the militia commander, have been locked into the arena. Their first opponents are 24 captured macaques!
That was fast. Each monkey took only a single blow to fell, and not a single injury was sustained by the dwarves. Still, I am certain Armok was pleased by the slaughter. The second round will start presently, pitting the Lancers against 4 badger men.
Well, that was a bit anticlimactic. The soldiers didn't even see the badger men as a threat. The commander actually slept while the others killed their enemies at a leisurely pace. Hopefully the final round, The Lancers of Right versus 4 goblins, will be more exciting.
The goblins really put up a great fight. A dwarf was severely injured with a bruise... on his left eyelid. Then the goblins were unable to continue fighting because of severe dismemberment. It is good Armok revels in both fair fight and senseless slaughter, but it would have been nice to see a bit more of a show. Oh well, perhaps at the summer festival.
24th Opal, 132:
The construction above our courtyard has been completed. We now have two stories of stone containing our arena, a moved refuse stockpile, a marksdwarf niche, and our captured creature room, as well as plenty of additional space for future projects. I've also gone to the trouble of having everything sealed entirely, so even flying enemies will be unable to breach it. The weakest point of our fort is now the roof of the military tower, which has stairs leading into the fort guarded by only locked hatches. I am not much worried about anything getting in that way, but it is a strategic weakness if anything arrives that can fly and destroy the hatches.
9th Obsidian, 132:
I noticed a pile of seeds sitting in our stocks unused. When I questioned the growers about it they told me those seed were foraged from the surface, and wouldn't grow in soil that had never seen the sun. It seems backwards to me to put something you want to grow into the sun, but I trust their expertise. I ordered the diggers to channel out a region of the courtyard to allow some sun to penetrate into our farm cavern. Then I built a floor over that space to make sure it would never see the sun again. The farmers say that did the job, though, and they're happily planting strawberries and other surface plants in the cave now.
Since completion of our above ground levels I've noticed many idle dwarves in the fort. Today I enacted Operation Busy-work; I've built the first 30 of 60 pumps in some of the open space of the upper levels. Peons have been ordered to spend any free time they have turning the pumps. This will not only keep them from becoming lazy from lack of work, but will have the added benefit of making them stronger, allowing them to more quickly complete other tasks. I just need to remember to deactivate the pumps if I need the dwarves for some crucial task, as they get quite excited by pumping and won't follow any other orders until they are completely exhausted.
16th Obsidian, 132:
Another vile force of darkness has laid siege to our fortress. They come more heavily armed this time, with a war leader, hammermen, bowmen, an axe lord, spearmen, an elite crossbowman, mounts and trolls. They appeared close to our entrance and I worried the dwarves who were farther afield would not make it back, but when the alert was sounded they rushed with all possible speed to the gates, beating the oncoming horde.
We closed the inner gate but left the outer gate open so some of the goblins might stumble into our cage traps. Unfortunately the trolls made it to the gate first, killing our guard dogs again and preventing us from closing the outer gate. Meanwhile our marksdwarves peppered the enemy with bolts.
18th Obsidian, 132:
The elite crossbowman took his time getting to the fort, but when he got here he proceeded to unload his entire quiver into one of our marksdwarves. The dwarf survived, but was stranded unconscious in the marksdwarf niche while his squad retreated. Only Udib Gravelclasps was brave enough to drag him from the pool of his own blood to safety. But was he quick enough?
21st Obsidian, 132:
Our military isn't ready for this, and our defenses are not sufficient. With trolls blocking the outer gate we can't deploy our axedwarves, who are untested against armed opponents and somewhat undertrained. Our researchers have told me that if we were to place our dwarves in a room with wooden spears constantly thrusting at them for a few months a year they would quickly become very skillful in the art of combat. I think this danger room technology will greatly benefit our fortress, and I've told our miners to begin digging one below the military tower.
Later:
When the trolls stepped off the outer gate for a moment I had it quickly shut. A dozen goblins and a few trolls are now trapped in between the inner and outer gates. I've ordered our peons to remove a portion of the floor above the lock so we can fill it with water and drown the captured goblins. The peons report that they're too afraid of the goblins to actually complete the task, though, so it is likely we'll have to wait until the goblins retreat to get it done.
1st Granite, 132:
Spring is here and so are the goblins still. No progress has been made on the drowning trap. I suppose we'll just have to wait them out. Some goblins have died to our weapon traps outside, and their crossbowman seems to be out of bolts, so our marksdwarves are in position and harassing their ranks. Hopefully they'll break soon.
5th Slate, 132:
A digger died today when he breached the magma sea while following the adamantine vein down. We have been carefully mining it, taking out only the outer projections of it so as not to disturb whatever lies in its core. Before succumbing to the pain the digger called up to his fellows saying he could see several other adamantine veins projecting from the magma. Once we've revealed all we can of this vein we should consider digging to the others.
12th Slate, 132:
I noticed today a cage constructed in the courtyard filled with several goblins. Someone must have transferred them from the cages they were trapped in into a single communal one. This seems unwise, as each transfer is a chance for them to escape. I had the peons throw a wall up around the cage and stationed a squad of axedwarves nearby, then carefully removed the goblins and put them back into individual cages to be stripped of weapons and armor like all prisoners. I've ordered the constructed cage and walls be left up to house any prisoners who particularly displease Armok.
7th Felsite, 132:
We've run out of wood. The goblins still prevent us from leaving the fort and our underground tree farm is not yet mature and thus produces little wood. We need to make more bins and wooden training spears to construct our danger room, but the going will be slow so long as we are stuck inside. If the tree farm were just a few years older we would be entirely un-inconvenienced by keeping our gates closed.
16th Felsite, 132:
The goblins are leaving! They must have gotten tired of standing outside doing nothing as we shot at them from the comfort of our fortress. As soon as the last invader disappeared over the horizon I ordered the gates opened. We need to collect wood and the items left by what goblins we managed to kill. I have also decided our entrance is not nearly secure enough and have ordered several changes: we finally set up the hole above the entrance lock to drown anyone trapped inside, I also ordered a hallway with traps built over our moat. This alternate route functions using a similar principle to the undump, but in this case the pressure plates will not be set off by citizens, only outsiders.
In order to complete the tasks at hand as quickly as possible I've disabled Operation Busy-work for now. Some dwarves grumbled, but as soon as the tasks are complete I'll reenable the pumps.
24th Felsite, 132:
The marksdwarf injured months ago by the goblin crossbowman died of thirst today. Apparently everyone was too busy to bring him a bucket of water. I am bothered by this, but I suppose I'm as guilty of neglecting him as everyone else. I do wonder what the doctors charged with his care were doing at the time, though.
30th Felsite, 132:
An ambush! I sent the military out to dispatch the goblins. They succeeded in their task but not without injury or before our guard dogs were killed; the danger room can not be completed soon enough for my liking. I've also replaced the marksdwarf who died with a peon who had some training with a bow; hopefully he learns fast.
Hastily written note:
I just got word that Urist McAndrew is fomenting revolution among the military. He wouldn't be my choice for leader after his last grab for power but I see he has a lot of support and I'm not willing to die for this petty office. I completed most of what I set out to do here, and I think that the fortress is more resilient because of it. If I had more time I would do several more things:
- Build a spear trap in the middle of my trapped entrance hallway using menacing steel spikes when they're ready and hook it and the spear trap just in front of the outer hatch to a new lever in the dining room.
- Train some military in the arena and clear out the prisoners we have caged.
- Continue careful mining of the adamantine vein; use the adamantine to make more axes and expand the military.
- Complete at least one danger room by building one more spear trap full of 10 wooden training spears and connecting it and the spear trap still under construction to the lever in the northeast corner of the dining room; then have my military train in the danger room for at most 3 months a year.
- Build fortified entrances into each of the three cavern layers to clear out the forgotten beasts.
- Make a better early warning system for ambushes, optimally using animals raised off the ground looking through glass windows so they can't be harmed.
- Draft all of the fort into squads and train them a bit in the danger room, making sure they have at least a leather cloak for protection.
- Make a dining room and bedrooms near the magma forges so the workers there don't need to travel very far in their off time.
For Armok!
